Hellcity Hooligans Men's Roller Derby (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} bunkertor) wrote,@ 2007-10-25 12:59:00 |
|
The Future
Headlines from the year: 2029
*
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
*
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
*
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
*
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
*
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
*
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq,Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
*
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
*
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
*
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
*
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
*
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
*
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
*
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
*
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
*
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
*
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
*
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
*
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
*
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
*
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Headlines from the year: 2029
*
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
*
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
*
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
*
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
*
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
*
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq,Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
*
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
*
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
*
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
*
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
*
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
*
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
*
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
*
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
*
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
*
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
*
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
*
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
*
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
*
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
